What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
