If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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