so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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