only if we run a train.
done.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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