literally had 100 drinks last night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
