We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
