i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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