Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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