Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
