At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
