During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize