You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
