He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
