the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
