South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
