So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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