The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
