Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
