theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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