Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The power of my boobs compel you
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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