We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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