What did we do last night that was yellow?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
