You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
