Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
