I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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