Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize