She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
