just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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