y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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