Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize