yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
