doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
