drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize