So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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