Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
