But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
