Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You can't special order awesome
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
