Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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