Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
