ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
