I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
