It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
