Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
