When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
