I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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