I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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