Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
