Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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