you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
