So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also, beer. Big fan.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
