she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
