I want to have your abortion
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
