Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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