Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
