Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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