sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
