He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
