North Korea, Best Korea!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
