physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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