put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
