So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
