I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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