Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
