I think I won the penis lottery.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
