help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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