we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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