Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
