So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
vagina is talking i cant
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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