video games are the ultimate cock blocker
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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