i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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