Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
