"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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