So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
