haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
