your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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