i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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