In the future we'll all be gay
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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