The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
