dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
