do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
