Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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