i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
