just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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