i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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